


As Within, So Without

by AtropaSilentium



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angels, F/F, Fluff, Magic, Witches, rarepair week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtropaSilentium/pseuds/AtropaSilentium
Summary: When Lou Fa finds herself in a predicament that even she can't fix on her own, she goes in search of Lou Fa the Grand Witch. Can the two work together to solve Lenalee's problem?
Relationships: Lenalee Lee/Rohfa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	As Within, So Without

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! I'm posting late due to me being in and out of the hospital, but here is my entry for DGM Rarepair Week 2020.
> 
> Prompts: Time Travel | Fantasy | Regency | Historical | Futuristic (Day 3 / October 28)

The night whispered to Lenalee as she neared a small cottage, her heeled boots crunching on twigs and gravel. It was pitch black out with only the stars to guide her, but she didn't scare easily. Not even as a large owl swooped overhead, letting out a high pitched squeak and catching a mouse in it's sharp talons. Terrified cries echoed through the trees as they soared away, pulling at her heart strings.

The scene held her interest for a bit longer as she felt some pity for the poor creature, but she eventually continued onward, stopping just outside the home's perimeter. It was faint, but she could feel a force keeping her away. An invisible wall between her and the home of the woman she was trying to find. It wouldn't be difficult to dismantle the barrier, but there was the possibility she'd be considered a threat if she went and forced her way in, and she really didn't want to get into a fight if she didn't have to.

Lenalee trailed her fingers along the energy wall as she circled the area, doing her best to ignore the burning pain shooting up her entire arm from touching the ward. There had to be a way around it. She hadn't traveled all that way just to turn back and call it quits. Even if she had to use her holy powers without clearance from the higher ups, she was determined to find a way through it as peacefully as possible.

"Come on, think," she muttered, tuning out the noisy insects and cries of phantom songs that drifted through the woods. "How does everyone else get in?"

"Have you tried knocking," a teasing, girlish voice said from somewhere close by, making her scan her surroundings for the voice's owner.

"Who's there?" she asked, shifting her body into a defensive stance.

A strange purple furred creature with gold eyes, cute round ears, and a toothy grin hopped into her line of view from her left. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? You're the one trespassing." 

"I didn't mean to show up uninvited, I just… I need to acquire the services of the witch who lives here."

"As does everyone else who comes this far out into the woods," the animal said, her two fluffy tails swinging back and forth.

"Please, it's an emergency. Do you know the witch? Can you ask her to let me through?"

The creature grinned, eyes glistening in the dark. "Perhaps. If you promise me a favor to be determined at a later time."

"You want me to give you a favor that I don't know and won't know until later?" Lenalee asked, debating it. In the magickal world, it was naive to agree to such terms, especially with a stranger.

"If you want to get inside that house without causing any damage, then you better decide fast. That girl goes to bed soon and I have other places to be as well. If not, you'll have to come back tomorrow."

"Fine," Lenalee said, biting her lip. "It can't be helped since I'm not sure how much time I have left… I agree so long as you'll also agree that the favor will not involve putting any innocents in danger or dedicating myself to another besides God."

"Hmm, alright. I can work with that," the creature replied, walking over to the barrier and touching it with her clawed paw. "It's easy to create a road anywhere you want to go. You just have to know how."

At her touch, the barrier split apart, forming a narrow path. The ward was still up, but Lenalee had been given a direct route to the front door at least. She'd just have to feel her way through it so she didn't stumble into the energy field on accident. Getting stuck in a ward that constantly zapped you was not what anyone would deem a fun experience after all.

"Thank you," Lenalee said, forcing a weary smile. "I guess I'll see you again. Our deal and all. By the way, what's your name?"

The creature giggled, eyes squinting in a playful manner. "The name's Road! I'm the keeper of roads, pathways, and hidden doors."

"The keeper?" Lenalee repeated, confused.

"I need to go find someone now so you'll have to manage the rest on your own. I'll come to you when the time is right. Oh, and don't tell anyone else my name!" Road said in a singsong tone, bounding away and out of sight.

"What a weird creature. Was that the witch's familiar?" Lenalee asked herself as she continued on her way to the house's front door, stopping before entering to give a courteous knock.

Rather than someone coming to the door, it swung open on it's own. Surprised, she took one small step inside, lingering in the doorway and peering at the tidy, barely lit foyer. It appeared that the house was filled with a glamour, preventing her from pinpointing the witch using her otherworldly senses. Instead, she was forced to trust in her intuition to guide her and hopefully alert her if she was walking into a trap.

She cautiously made her way deeper into the home, taking note of the sigils drawn along the walls. "Hello, Grand Witch? I've come to ask for your help!"

"I'm in here," a calm, gentle voice called out, leading her to what appeared to be a sitting room, or perhaps a large study.

The room had many shelves and tables, all with various books, crystals, and other miscellaneous trinkets. Most of the objects were enchanted, giving off different types of energy vibrations. Pure energy surged through the space, making Lenalee's head spin until she wanted to vomit. She resisted the urge to hurl and focused on the woman sitting in a big comfy chair, grimoire open in her lap.

The woman was cute with a soft face, pretty brown eyes, and braided brown hair. Her outfit was simple, yet appropriate for her job, consisting of a white cloak and slightly crumpled witch's hat. Despite being a regular human, her beauty was so magnificent that Lenalee felt abnormally self conscious, running her fingers through her own dark hair. How could it be that just one look at the mysterious woman had her gut twisting in anxiety?

"I take it you're the Grand Witch?" Lenalee asked, breath catching in her throat as the woman looked up from her grimoire, locking eyes with her.

"That's me, Lou Fa the Grand Witch," she replied, shooting Lenalee a sweet smile.

"I'm sorry for intruding so late, but I really need your help and I'm not sure if I have much time so I didn't want to risk waiting until morning. Ah... I'm Lenalee by the way."

Lou Fa let out a curious hum. "I'm interested in what someone like you could want from someone like me. I may be a master in the magickal and alchemical arts, but at the end of the day I'm nowhere near as powerful as you true immortals."

"Immortals? So you already sensed what I am?" Lenalee asked, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another. "Can you tell that just by looking at me?"

"I can tell that you're an immortal by looking at you, but as for the type, I only have a hunch."

It wasn't as if Lenalee needed to keep her species a secret so she cut the guessing game short. "I'm an angel. The humanoid, two-winged type," she said, specifying the last part to differentiate her from some of her more monstrous companions who bore many wings and multiple eyes.

"An angel," Lou Fa repeated, tilting her head in an adorable fashion, eying Lenalee up and down with interest. "I want to trust you, but I'll have to ask to see your true form to be certain."

"My true form?" Lenalee asked, eyes wide. "That's not possible. My true form would potentially kill you thanks to my divine light."

"That's only if I look directly at you, correct? Don't worry, I was planning to use a mirror. Wait a second and I'll grab it," Lou Fa said, putting her grimoire down and getting up to fetch the mirror.

She walked over to a bureau and noisily sifted through the middle drawer until she found what she was searching for. As she removed the object and closed the drawer, Lenalee could see that it was a silver handheld mirror that gave off an interesting vibration. It was something akin to being enveloped by water, except without the fear of drowning. Rather than fear, she felt at peace.

"Here, this should allow me to look at you without getting hurt," Lou Fa said, crossing the room once again to stand only a foot or so away from Lenalee. "I'll turn around and count to five, then you do your thing."

"Ok," Lenalee agreed, watching Lou Fa turn around and position the mirror so that it reflected what was behind her.

Up close, the mirror was even prettier, with black glass and gold planetary symbols decorating the frame and handles. Lenalee gazed into it, entranced by the dark glass that reminded her of black ice. She'd never seen a nicer mirror in her entire life, not even in heaven. At the count of five, she let her true self shine through, teal feathered wings expanding on both sides of her. Her divine light filled the room and the temperature rose to a scalding heat, yet Lou Fa didn't retreat or back away. 

Lenalee watched herself in the mirror, noting the spots on her wings that were muddled with black. Her eyes, too, should have been a lovely shade of indigo blue, but glowed violet color instead. It was like she was turning into a different person altogether. Someone she didn't recognize.

"Wow, you're beautiful," Lou Fa exclaimed, and Lenalee's attention was directed to the partial reflection of the witch's face gazing at her with genuine awe and admiration.

"Thanks," Lenalee said, feeling her heart flutter in her chest at the compliment. "I'm going to put my wings away now that you've confirmed my identity."

Lou Fa hummed in agreement and waited patiently as Lenelee hid her true form once again, pulling the divine light that had seeped through the room back into her slender body. It had been a long time since a human had seen her wings—if the Grand Witch could even still be called a human after existing for over six-hundred years anyway. Either way, it made her feel a bit embarrassed for some reason she couldn't quite comprehend.

The witch placed the mirror onto the closest shelf and turned to lock eyes with Lenalee once again, a worried frown pulling at her soft looking lips. "So I take it you came because of your current condition. I've only met one other angel in my lifetime so I'm not an expert, but judging by the corrupted dark aura leaking into your light core, is it safe for me to assume that you're in the process of falling?"

Shame wracked Lenalee for a moment before she could bring herself to reply. "Yes. It started months ago, but it's only recently that it started progressing into physical symptoms."

"I see," Lou Fa said, looking uncomfortable for the first time since they met. "Unfortunately, I wasn't being humble when I said my power is nothing compared to yours. I'm not really sure how to help you, I'm sorry. Can't you ask one of your comrades for help?"

"They can't help me. None of them have ever dealt with this before and the ones that have aren't able to help either." 

"Hmm, I guess that makes sense that you wouldn't have contact with your fallen brethren. Can I ask you something personal? What caused this change?"

Lenalee debated not answering, but knew she had no choice if she was going to get help. "I cursed God for the deaths of my loved ones. Over and over again, my comrades kept falling to the demons and I… I couldn't take it. So I directed my hatred at Him."

"At God? So you spurned God and started falling?"

"Yeah. I thought maybe I was just imaging the change in my own energy until my wings began turning black."

"May I take a closer look at you?" Lou Fa asked, taking a few steps closer, but still leaving enough space for Lenalee to refuse.

A blush crept over Lenalee's face. "Go ahead." 

"Thanks," Lou Fa replied, closing the distance between them and placing her hand over Lenalees's heart without actually touching her. "I sensed it while looking at you, but are you certain this is a punishment from God?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your heart is unstable. Almost like it's crying out and inviting the darkness in."

"Why would my heart do that?"

"Because more than God, I think the one you dislike most right now is yourself," Lou Fa said, shocking Lenalee into temporary silence.

So she did it to herself? How could that be? No, it had to be God who did it. Lenalee sometimes got annoyed with herself, but she never _hated_ herself. And she definitely wouldn't choose to damage her own body and power as some form of masochistic self-inflicted punishment.

"I don't understand," she said, needing some kind of clarification.

Lou Fa shot her a gentle, sympathetic smile. "I know that's probably confusing to hear, but you seem to be in touch with your emotions and sometimes our emotions can get a little ugly. Do you really hate God, or are you just upset with yourself for being unable to save them?"

That was it. It was the truth she'd been keeping locked up deep inside hit her like a train, making her gut tighten and tears form just behind her lashes. She didn't _hate_ herself, but she did feel _regret_ over her actions. Over her weakness. Her failure. The helplessness and guilt she felt watching them vanish from existence eating away at her conscience. If only she had been better, stronger, faster, _anything_ , then maybe they'd still be with her. 

"They were my family," she said, voice cracking with despair. "I should have been able to keep them safe."

With that honest statement, her strong demeanor crumpled and she began to cry, startling slightly when Lou Fa pulled her into a hug. It wasn't usually like her to lose her cool in front of strangers. Especially not strangers of a different species. Yet, she couldn't seem to hold her emotions together in front of the Grand Witch, allowing the beautiful woman to comfort her while she collected her thoughts.

"What did you do? Did you mess with my emotions?" Lenalee asked, sniffling.

"No, those are already in disarray from the transformation. I do have a calming spell over my entire house to prevent fights, though, so you may be feeling it's relaxing effects."

Lenalee chuckled half heartedly, face still wet. "I thought that was you doing it."

"Doing what? I didn't cast a crying spell on you if that's what you're accusing," Lou Fa joked, her playful attitude endearing.

"No. Nevermind, it's nothing. I'm just not usually like this."

"It's alright. Like I said, your entire being is unstable right now. Besides, there's worse ways to spend the night than helping someone get through a tough situation."

"Thanks, you're really nice," Lenelee said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I think I'm ok now. Well, as ok as I can be anyway."

"I don't have a magick spell to fix you, but I can offer you a potion to help stabilize your emotions until you can work through your inner turmoil yourself."

"That would be helpful. Thanks."

Lou Fa gave Lenalee once last gentle squeeze and pulled away, explaining all the potion's potential side effects and risks as she picked up her grimoire from the spot she left it. Fortunately, the list of risks weren't too bad so they moved to the kitchen to prepare the potion without much hesitation. The sight of the small room packed with colorful vials, potions, hanging herbs, and only the occasional jar of mundane ingredients put an amused smirk on Lenalee's face as she wondered if every room in the house were as cluttered as the two rooms she'd seen. Surely not every room served as a magickal workshop of some form?

"You have an interesting aesthetic," Lenalee teased, earning a soft laugh from the witch.

"I know what you're probably thinking. It's a mess. I promise my organization skills aren't bad. I just get a lot of requests and between fulfilling those and working on my personal research projects, I have very little time to worry about appearances."

"No! No, it's fine. I like it. I just thought witches were more secretive."

"I'm not worried," Lou Fa said, grabbing a bunch of vials and liquids. She blended the liquids together in one of the larger vials until it turned blue. "The time of burning us at the stake is over. If anything, most humans don't even believe in us anymore."

"I thought you said you get a lot of requests?"

"Most of my client's are non-humans like yourself or novice witches. I do have a few mundane clients who are what you might consider regulars, though."

"That makes sense. You are well known among the supernatural community, even with those who are skilled in magick themselves. It was a light elf who recommended you to me in fact."

"I'm glad to hear I have such a good reputation," Lou Fa said distractedly, murmuring a chant as she traced runes in the air above the vial with her finger. 

The liquid turned from blue to a shimmering silver and it's completion was announced, bringing Lenalee's focus back to the reason she was there. After asking if she could pick it up and receiving confirmation, she held the potion close, turning it so the liquid swayed to one side. What she originally thought was a pure silver liquid actually contained little swirls of color, reminding her of one of those psychedelic stress relief things humans sometimes had. Except you couldn't drink those unless you wanted to be rushed to a hospital.

"You said this is safe to drink right?" It's not as if she'd die from poisoning, but she could still get sick from consuming things that weren't supposed to be edible.

"One-hundred percent safe! It might not taste that great, but that's the price one pays if they care more about results then flavor." 

"I'll trust you on that," Lenalee said, slowly bringing it to her lips and taking the tiniest of sips. The flavor reminded her of what she imagined plaster might taste like. "Mm, yeah. Definitely not something I'd drink for fun."

"It would be less torture to your taste buds if you just down it."

Lenalee did as suggested and drank the rest as fast as she could, face slightly distorted in disgust. Then she waited for it to start working, unsure what it was actually supposed to feel like when it did. She didn't sense any changes. Not even a tingling or change in power level.

"I don't think it worked," she said, disheartened.

"I believe it did, but there's only one way to be sure. May I take another peek at your core?" 

"Sure. Go ahead…"

"I was right. Your energy is much more stable now," she confirmed. "You'll still need to work through some of your emotions before you can revert back to your pure state, though."

"That's great! Well, that the potion worked anyway. I can't say I'm looking forward to picking apart my own brain..."

Lou Fa took Lenalee's hands in her own, gently squeezing them. "You don't have to do it alone if you don't want to. I'm not a therapist, but I did study some of the basics of psychology. Besides, I wouldn't mind lending an ear to a cute girl in need."

Despite the blush that crept over her face at being called cute, Lenalee managed to keep a politely neutral expression. "You've already done enough for me. I wouldn't feel right asking you for anything more. Plus, I still need to pay you for your help."

"Don't worry about it," Lou Fa said, waving it off with the flick of her hand. "Let's just say the potion is on the house this time. If you're insistent on paying me for the other work, I'd be willing to make a deal with you. How about I continue to help you and you can tell me more about angels? The stuff you're allowed to share, that is."

"That's…" Lenalee trailed off, a myriad of conflicting emotions coursing through her. "I think that could work. But are you sure you don't want payment?" 

"Positive. Besides, it's not like I didn't get anything out of this meeting, so we're even," Lou Fa insisted, grinning. "I mean, how many witches can claim to have seen an angel's wings?!"

"I guess that is a rare occurrence. Alright, then. I'll consider the potion paid for, and I'll accept your continued help in return for information about us."

"Great! I can't wait!" With that deceleration, Lou Fa surprised her by giddily bounding in place. "I know I'm just providing you a service and vice versa, but I hope we can become friends, too?"

"Mhm, that sounds nice," Lenalee agreed, smirking at the daydreamy, almost childish look of joy the other woman bore.

"Right! So i'm usually free between 9 AM and 10 PM any day. If you want to schedule a meeting in advance, you can just send me a magickal message, or you can just stop by as long as you don't mind waiting a bit if I'm with another client already. My familiar would see to any of your needs so you don't get bored."

"Your familiar? The purple thing?"

"Purple thing?" Lou Fa asked, excitement shifting to confusion. "No, my familiar is a large white rat with a blue bow."

Lenalee bit her cheek, remembering the strange creature outside. "I ran into a creature on the way here, which is how I was able to get past the barrier. She called herself the 'Keeper of Doors' I believe."

"Hmm, I've never heard of her. I'm sorry…"

"That's ok. I guess I'll find out more about her eventually."

"I can do some research if you want?" Lou Fa offered, adding to the list of services she had already promised.

"Are you sure? You're already doing more than enough for me." Lenalee didn't mind accepting her help, but she didn't want to become a burden by giving the witch too much work.

"Yeah, it's fine! A little research shouldn't be too hard."

"If you say so, then sure."

Content with their agreement, the two women talked longer, exchanging more info about themselves and their interests until a large yawn interrupted their discussion. An exhausted Lou Fa reluctantly declared her need for rest, barely able to stop herself from falling asleep while chatting, much to Lenalee's amusement. Lenalee agreed the witch needed to sleep, inquiring about the barrier and showing herself out after being reassured it would be disabled long enough to let her pass. 

Her wings spanned around her as she hovered under the sun's first rays, basking in the warmth. The light seeped into her body, filling her with extra energy. For the first time in a long time, she truly felt like she could learn to be happy again. Happy and maybe, _just maybe,_ a little more herself.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry again for the late post, and thank you all for reading!


End file.
